I guess the day itself wasn't that bad but I'm just feeling kind of bummed out tonight. When I was walking around the campus earlier I saw so many happy little couples walking along, hand in hand and it just made me angry. Then I had the pleasure of watching two little happy couples came trotting into my class after I had sat down and was waiting for it to start. It just makes you wanna tell em to fuck off.... but that would be wrong. I know what they're feeling. They're happy as can be and seem to be floating on air and good for them. I know that's an awesome feeling to have. But at the same time, you can't help but just loathe anyone that does have that feeling because you envy it. You've had it before and you want it back. You want it so bad and you can remember it! You remember every minute and every detail and it kills you seeing other people have what you so desperately crave. Then you come home to nothing. You just put your shit down and that's it. You sit in silence, pondering, thinking deep about where it all went wrong. You do your best to kill some time until you're tired enough to go to sleep, because really that's all you have. Those few hours when it doesn't matter how alone you feel or actually are. Those few hours are the only escape you have and it kills you waiting for the time to roll around when you can finally close your eyes and allow your constantly over analyzing mind to rest........................ or so I've been told.
posted by Jerr @ 9:14 PM
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