Do What Now?

Well I took my entrance exam for Macon State today. I think I did pretty well on the Reading and English sections, unlike the Math one which I most likely failed... horribly. Math is not, nor has it ever been, one of my strong points. I suck... very badly. So many numbers and letters... so so many. What is a man to make of it? Not much as far as I'm concerned. There is no way in hell I'm going to be a mathematician so why is it so important that I know how find the value of X, or the area of a triangle, or so much of that other... stuff? To quote the great Stephen Colbert, "Equations are the Devil's sentences." Now I don't know about you but the last time I checked the Devil was a bad guy, and I don't think I need to be involved in anything that the Devil has a hand in. If the good lord intended for me to know those things he would have made 11 commandments and not 10. So yeah.... assuming we pay them and what not and I turn in a few more forms, meet with certain people, blah blah blah bobloblaw... I have 2 more months of this "lifestyle" and then I'll actually be doing something that's actually productive. So yeah.... bout time, but what the hell, better late than never, eh?

posted by Jerr @ 9:12 PM 0 comments

Check this shizzzit out. OK... So I was at Subway not more than say... 20 minutes ago. I was sitting there chatting it up with the girls behind the counter because I go there a lot and they know me there. This old guy and what I can only assume to be his granddaughter come in. I continue chatting and laughing it up with the employees. I could tell that the other people in line behind had their attention focused on us and our conversation. We we're having a good time, it was clear. I'm a very charismatic individual... when I choose to be, otherwise I'm kind of a prick.

Anyway, smiling, I turned to this girl and her grandfather and apologized to her that I was holding them up and made a joke or two at my expense. Naturally as always, that worked to ease what I assumed might have been tension. You know, "why is this asshole taking so long and getting so many sandwiches?" Anyway, I turn back towards the counter and continue chatting with the help, when out of the corner of my eye I notice said girl staring at me. Like really staring. I mean this girl was "eye-fucking" the shit out of me. I'm not just being full of myself or anything... well I am full of myself, but not about this.

So you're probably going "Well what the fuck is the problem then, because if anyone is gonna have a problem with some hot girl eye fucking the shit out of them it's gotta be you." Well the problem was that this hot girl eye fucking the shit out of me was just that, a girl. She couldn't have been more then 15 or 16 years old. I know for a lot of dudes my age that wouldn't really be a problem, but for some reason for me it is. I just feel like that would have been wrong of me to try and pick that girl up... actually I wouldn't have had to try; that was a sure deal, but it just didn't seem right to me. Maybe it's because I have a sister who's that girls age but that just seems wrong to me.

And what is up with young girls? That's not the first time something like that has happened to me. For some reason I have no problem picking up girls between the ages of 14-16. Of course once I find out their age, which I now do right away, I go my separate way. We won't make that mistake ever again; damn right we won't. I just don't get it. For some reason it seems like I'm only attractive to girls who still take the bus to school. Which is not at all what I'm going for. I know that really if you think about the 3 years from 16 to 19, it isn't that bad.... but it just seems bad at this age to me. If I was 25 and that girl from Subway was 22, I know I would have had no problem with it at all. I would have grabbed her right there, took her back home, nailed her, and sent her on her way. So why is that? Why do those 3 years seem so bad now... besides those 3 years possibly representing jail time? Maybe that's why. Statutory rape. Not I. No thank you. I really want that on my record. "Warning this guy nails underage girls." Again, no thank you. I'll pass.

But yeah....I paid for my sandwiches, talked to that girl again and then left. I could really tell she digging me from the way she smiled and the way she batted her eyes a few times but she also was trying really hard to make conversation. I felt kind of bad for her. She really seemed intrested but nothing would ever happen and I know how that can feel. I felt like shit as I started to walk out becuase she looked me in the eye with this look on her face like she was waiting for me to ask for her name, or her number, or just anything about her. Just some basic sign of intrest. I lowered my head as I walked out and I felt her eyes again. Almost felt right for a second. Almost.

posted by Jerr @ 6:41 PM 1 comments

My Wishlist.

1. I wish I had my own soundtrack playing where ever I went so other people could HEAR just how bad ass I am.
2. I wish that all words ending with a "y" ended with an "ie"....things would be so simpler.
3. I wish that I had been born in the 50's.......cuz that means free love and mind expanding substances in the 60's.....and I could really use the free love. Normal love costs way too much.
4. I wish that I had a Delorean equipped with a Flux Capacitor so that I could go back in time to last Tuesday and warn myself about that sandwich I dropped on Wednesday......that was gonna be a really tasty sandwich....I mean really tasty, it had like all the fixins.
5. I wish that if the world were to end it would end with some sort of Zombie epidemic so I could roam the streets with my Zombie hunting posse, the "Badass Zombie Killers That Don't Take Any Shit From Zombies".....we would be working on finding a better name.....and killing Zombies.
6. I wish I wasn't so damn gullible.......that's not suppose to be funny....that's just true.
7. I wish I never made a MySpace.....no good came from it. That shit is the Devil....pure and true.
8. I wish I could go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.......wait, what?
9. I wish for an end to world hunger, because in my own little world I'm very hungry. Does anyone have like a sandwich I could take a bite of? I'm not gonna eat it all.....just like one bite.

posted by Jerr @ 6:58 PM 0 comments

You know what really pisses me off more than anything else....besides stupid people? I'll tell ya, it's little missing white girls. That's right. I hate little missing white children. Well actually perhaps I should step back for a moment and rethink that. Perhaps it's not the little missing white children that I hate, but perhaps it's the media coverage that they tend to generate. I couldn't tell you how many nights I've flipped through the channels, stopping on CNN momentarily only to find Nancy Grace and her ego filling my screen. I listen for a few moments as she rambles on to some alleged "expert" in the field of missing white girls about how bad she feels for the family and how she hates and yet at the same time somehow surprised that something like this [missing white children] could happen. Well you know what Nancy Grace? I'm not just some simple minded fruit fly who was dumb enough to fall into your little web of deceit. Oh no....not this fly. Not now, not ever.


Nancy Grace and her colleagues over at Fox News....Yea...I'm talking to you Van Sustren, well they couldn't give two shits about any of these kids. Truth be told, neither do I.....I really don't care. I know that's horrible of me to say....but then again, unlike our friends at CNN and FOX, I'm not profiting off of their abductions. They run that garbage night in and night out because they know people are gonna tune in to watch them discuss essentially nothing. Most of the time they don't have anything to really go on. Just rumors and various conflicting statements from their "sources". But none the less; people tune in and when people tune in you can be damn sure the advertisers and the networks take notice. They wouldn't run the same stories if they weren't generating so much ad-revenue. I mean Christ Almighty.....that Nancy Holloway bitch....missing for over a year and a half...maybe even close to two...I don't even remember but damn if CNN isn't trying to do it's part and update me to death with the facts of her abduction every night at 8. I do think Van Sustren at FOX is worse though, then again everything FOX NEWS does tends to just kinda suck, and in a big way, yet ironically Van Sustren has chosen to beat this story to death, much in fact like Natalie was.

posted by Jerr @ 4:38 AM 0 comments

HELP A BROKE BROTHER OUT

Seriously. You see that little add box at the top of the page? Go click it.....several hundred times. You don't have to give anyone any money or buy anything....just click the add so I can get a tiny bit of money which will add up though based on the clicks. So yes help my broke ass out...I need the money so I can go to school. Click it. Many many times.

posted by Jerr @ 10:43 AM 0 comments

There are certain things in life that I will perhaps never be able to fully understand. Be it a car's engine, the human digestive system, math, and of course the ladies. I don't get them. There's something very different about the way the brains of our two fair sexes operate in relation to each other. It would seem to me that one over complicates things when they are far, far simpler than they're often made it out to be. Maybe it's that primal force at play in the brain of a man that drives him to find the simplest solution to whatever problem he may be plagued with. Since the dawn of time man has struggled to overcome whatever obstacle he may find in his path, often coming to the realization that the simplest solution is often the one that makes the most sense. That doesn't make Man right though.

From the things I've learned I've been able to gather that women tend to take every possible variable and angle of a "problem" into account when making a decision. Now there's not necessarily anything wrong with that, it pays to be tedious sometimes, but not always. Ladies, you could have the perfect solution right in front of your face....Literally, like 5 feet from ya's.....and you're going to proceed to sit there and examine it to hell until you find something wrong with it.

Anyone can do that with anything though. Take for example, you could sit here and tell me....ummm....how much you love Ice Cream and how good it is and why I should eat it...OK? Well I could sit here and give you 20 reasons why I hate Ice Cream and why it's not good and why you shouldn't eat it. Anyone can find fault in anything if you intend to. Nothing is perfect, nothing can be, but sometimes it's possible to find something that's damn close.

I'd like to think of myself as the "simple solution". I see things for what they are and I often strive for the easiest solution to a problem. ....You know what?.....I was having a smoke as I started writing this and now I got no idea where the hell I was going with this. Damn I hate when this happens. I have some really long and well thought out little rant planned and I smoke myself stupid. Damn you devil herb......OK let's see if we can get this back on track....but I'm gonna need some help from all little boys and girls out there across the internet.

Can you do that for me? Can you boys and girls help me out? What's that? You can? Well alllllllright then! Everybody repeat after me and scream as loud as you can when you do, OK?

Say...."I believe in MAGIC!.....I believe in LOVE!.......I believe in HAPPY ENDINGS!" OK. You did it? OK.....Cool.

OK. Well I still don't really remember what I was talking about but that was fun, was it not? I should totally have a children's show or something. I'd do wonders for those little kids self esteem....so long as I'm stoned, but as long as I am....I'm telling ya....Wonders.

I will finish this though. I will remember what I was planning on talking about and I will get it up. That's a promise and I never make promises I can't keep. I'm like Superman.....only without the powers....and the physique (though I'm close).....and the kick ass hair....you know what? Now that I think of it, I'm really nothing at all like Superman, and that's a damn shame.

posted by Jerr @ 10:59 AM 0 comments

You know for someone who doesn't do shit, I sure am tired a lot. I sleep a good deal of the day away. It's not my intent to, however it always seems I succumb to the boredom and I eventually fall asleep. I don't plan it, it just always seems to work out this way. I'm actually kind of tired right now, now that I think of it. I think I'm gonna go back to sleep. Sleep good, awake bad.

posted by Jerr @ 4:14 AM 0 comments

OK.... what I'm about to discuss is not meant for children, old women, or anyone with any serious medical conditions of any kind. It's so shocking, disgusting, un-tasteful, and so vile that you may possibly vomit in your own mouth as you read this. OK, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, on with the dirtiness.

Now those who know me know me to be a decent person. I have my faults as we all do, but I'm a decent person. I'm not some creepy pervert, nor am I a sexual deviant. Sure, I like my porn, but who doesn't though...other than nuns? I'm a 19 year old, healthy, and heterosexual male, so watching porn and jacking it is just part of nature. Getting your hands on some porn every now and then isn't a crime, well it is but so long as you're over 18 it doesn't matter. I like your normal smut. Be it a nice 3-way, some lesbionics, or just a good old-fashioned hardcore gangbang. Whatever a man and a woman and another woman who happens to have a penis do, well hell, that's their business.... as well as the cameraman's. Far be it for me to pass judgment on these people or their profession, lord knows I probably would've offed myself years ago on one of those lonely nights had it not been for porn.

I do have my limits though and tonight one of those [limits] was met. I was doing my normal thing of scouring the web for new movies. I know, I know, it's wrong and I'm taking food out of all those poor millionaire's mouths, but sometimes you simply can't afford to go to the movies. I managed to find "Hostel" and at the time this occurred I was in the process of downloading the new remake of "the Hills Have Eyes"(which actually turned out to be the original). I use Lime Wire PRO so like almost every other P2P file-sharing program out there; I was able to browse through a user's (who I happened to be d/l "the Hills" from) files. There I saw something with the title "Black Girl Fucks Horse".

Now that alone would pretty much turn any normal person off to the idea of clicking on that, but tonight I must admit my curiosity got the best of me. I clicked on the listing and started the download. I assure anyone reading this that I had absolutely NO intention of practicing the safest sex imaginable with this "video" as an aid, nor once did I find myself at all aroused. Pure curiosity. Nothing more and nothing less, yet as we all know from the old adage, "curiosity killed the cat".

"He's hung like....well...a horse."

Well in this case, rather than kill the cat, it made the cat gag and vomit in it's own mouth a tiny bit. I watched maybe...at best...30-40 seconds of that shit and it was the most vile disgusting and degrading thing I have ever seen.... and this is coming from a guy who saw "Big Momma's House 2". I felt really bad for the girl in the "video". I mean REALLY bad. I mean that horse was giving it to her, like hard. It was an awful sight that would even make the devil ask you to turn it off. I know some of this might sound reminiscent of Cal's rant from "the 40 Year Old Virgin" to those who have seen it, but I truly have the exact feelings on the matter as he did. I feel bad for the girl as well as the horse. That horse doesn't know what the fuck is going on, all it knows is something feels half right to it.

I felt worse for the girl involved though. She just had this "lost" look in her eyes for those brief moments. But I gotta ask.... how bad has your situation gotten when you get to the point that you are willing to have sex with a horse on camera for cash...if she was even paid for that matter. I really hope she was paid because there's something seriously wrong with that chick if she was doing it pro-bono.... HA...bono.... bone.... horse-sex.... forget it. Anyway.... seriously.... how bad could her financial situation be to where she got to the point one day where she said to herself, "You know what would probably pay well...fucking a horse on camera. That would probably help me out for a while.... could get that new saddle I had my eye on."

How desperate do you have to be to do something like that? I really wish to know. I mean it's awful she was doing it anyway, it's just wrong. I want to know why though. Was she doing it just in case she and her friends are getting drunk over a game of "I Never..." one day and she can proudly take her shot when someone proclaims "I never fucked a horse on film"? Or was her mom desperately ill and in need of dialysis and she needed a lot of money fast?

I don't know why this chick did what she did to that horse, nor do I know why the horse let her for that matter...well actually the horse probably didn't give a shit, he was getting his jimmy whacked. But that poor girl.... that poor, poor, horse-fucked girl. Gives new meaning to the term "Hung like a horse" eh? Wait.... actually it just solidifies it. I don't know if you knew this or not, but let me tell ya.... Horses = Massive Cocks = Momentary pleasure followed by an excruciating, un-godly pain for that poor girl.

But yes, after I got up and washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth, I promptly deleted the file and looked at some good old' hardcore double penetration action to wash those horrible images from my mind. I'll never know why she fucked that horse, but then again why does anyone do anything for that matter?

posted by Jerr @ 4:33 AM 1 comments

I was sitting here this tonight, having my evening constitutional. When all of a sudden a commercial on television caught my eye. I believe it was for "Nuvaring", a type of birth control. I'm not gonna get into the specifics because I honestly don't know. A girl I knew explained it to me once but I wasn't really paying attention at the time and needless to say I forgot soon thereafter, but I'm getting off topic. One of the lines of the commercial read "Ask your doctor about Nuvaring if you're experiencing problems with your current birth control." Needless to say that got the old gears going upstairs. I sat and wondered to myself, "What the hell do you consider a problem with your birth control? A baby?"

I mean really, other than a few minor side effects here and there, or just having a personal preference for one brand or type, what possible problem could someone have with their birth control that wouldn't end up being a baby? Not to imply that babies in general are a problem, but if you were taking birth control, one major problem for you would indeed be a baby. Let's face it babies are a lot of work. A lot of people aren't equipped for them. Their simply too much maintenance. Now I've never been one for "coddling" babies. I'm not a "baby coddler", but they do require a good deal of effort. I know that much and shit, I don't even have one.

In other news....greener news for that matter, I saw this story posted over at CNN and felt the need to share, not because of the Cannabis content but because I love Jesus.....like totally.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- An Alaska high school violated a student's free speech rights by suspending him after he unfurled a banner that said "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" across the street from the school, a federal court ruled Friday.
Joseph Frederick, a student at Juneau-Douglas High School in Alaska, displayed the banner -- which refers to smoking marijuana -- in January 2002 to try to get on television as the Olympic torch relay was passing the school.
Principal Deborah Morse seized the banner and suspended the 18-year-old for 10 days, saying he had undermined the school's educational mission and antidrug stance.
Friday's ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco overturned a decision by a federal court in Alaska that backed Frederick's suspension and said his rights were not violated.
The appeals court said the banner was protected speech because it did not disrupt school activity and was displayed off school grounds during a non curricular activity.
"Public schools are instrumentalities of government, and government is not entitled to suppress speech that undermines whatever missions it defines for itself," Judge Andrew Kleinfeld wrote in the court's opinion.
The court also cleared the way for Frederick to seek damages, saying Morse was aware of relevant case law and should have known her actions violated his rights.

posted by Jerr @ 1:54 AM 0 comments

I saw this posted over at IMDB and had to put it up somewhere. It's too funny. How often do you hear about Yanni these days anyway, and then all of a sudden, BOOM. He pops up with this shit.

Acclaimed pianist Yanni is facing a domestic battery charge after he was arrested at his Florida home in the early hours of Friday. The star, whose full name is John Yanni Christopher, denies hurting his 33-year-old girlfriend Silvia Barthes during the dispute at his Manalapan house. Barthes, who is sporting a cut lip, told police officers the musician shook her, before throwing her on the bed and jumping on top of her. The 51-year-old has released a statement saying, "I want everyone to know that I am completely innocent of any allegations made with respect to the events at my home on the night of March 2. These allegations are cruel, false, without merit and baseless. At a more appropriate time and place, I hope and pray I will have an opportunity to address my fans and colleagues all over the world."

posted by Jerr @ 3:50 AM 1 comments